She went this way!
I heard something over here!
Don't let her get away!
There's nowhere to run.
You made that a lot harder than it needed to be.
Taz.
Don't you move!
I'm gonna enjoy puttin' you down, traitor.
Yo, I'm angelino.
My story takes place in the shithole called dark meat city.
I was born here, probably die here, too.
D.M.C., as in depression,
murder and crazy-ass motherfuckers.
Break it up!
I'm 22, and I'm a pizza delivery guy, I guess.
I get paid, and I get the fuck out of there.
Don't ask questions, don't get involved.
It just complicates things, you know.
Already ugly as fuck,
I don't need no more complications.
When it comes to the school of hard knocks,
I probably ain't never gonna graduate.
But I ain't complaining.
Some of the others just dropped out.
- What's up, man, come on! - Where'd you hide it!
- Man, move your hobo asses! - What did I tell you?
Fuck off!
Did I mention I hate this place?
It's like everyone's trying to take you out.
Ah shit!
Stupid-ass bird, watch where you flying!
How was I supposed know
that one little look would change everything?
They say real love stories don't end up
like they do in the movies.
But how would I know?
I ain't never been in love.
I ain't never kept a job longer than three weeks,
'cause I'm lucky like that.
But I gotta pay the rent somehow
and can't count on vinz.
No one'll hire him,
'cause he's a fire hazard or some shit.
What the fuck?
Just keep your head down, mouth shut.
You even think about disrespecting
these motherfuckers,
you done.
The rule is don't cause no trouble for nobody,
'cause maybe they'll do the same.
Yeah, I get it, I'm a joke.
But right now, I just want to get home.
Hey, put your head in a bag,.
Yeah, over that shit up, homie.
Alive, if possible.
Hotel Guadalupe, it's like purgatory but with cable.
Lived here four years.
Straight from the mouth of hell, Lucifer's...
Hey, yo, vinz!
- What's up? - What's with all this shit
on the floor?
For real, can you just clean up after yourself?
Whoa, what the fuck happened to your face, bro?
Got hit by some big-ass truck, came out of nowhere.
Man, people need to learn how to drive in this town.
Oh yeah, and I got fired.
- Again? - Yup.
Hey, you feed the roaches yet?
Why can't they just eat what's on the floor?
Nah, the floor is nasty.
Roaches have sensitive tummies.
I read that somewhere.
Real talk, though, I don't how we gonna do this.
Rent's two months late.
We ain't got no jobs.
Dude, I know lucha ultima's on,
but we got to figure this shit out.
You think we should talk to Willy?
Can we please leave Willy out of this?
He's weird.
Okay, come to papa.
Ah, there you go.
Daddy's got a little treat for you.
Oh, you brought some friends, too.
That's cool.
Ugh, ugh, that's gross, man.
And you're eating the pet food?
I hope he has health insurance,
because this is shaping up to be...
Yo, roaches freak me out, man.
Are you even listening to me?
- Yeah. - I mean, they're just taking
over the whole crib, bro.
I know this is a shit apartment,
but can we at least have some standards?
Right to the jaw.
Hey, vinz, you know what would really suck?
If even the roaches get out of here before we do.
Hey, I think you're
in the wrong neighborhood.
Shit, my head.
Lino, you look rough, bro.
Are you okay? Couldn't sleep.
Kept having messed-up dreams.
I think that accident really fucked up my head, man.
Bro, I think we should go get that checked out.
You could drop dead or something.
Let's go see a doctor today.
No way, no doctors.
They just make you pay for bad news.
Terrorism knows no political parties,
no race, no gender.
Oh no, it's Willy.
Indiscriminate violence, orchestrated...
Shit, man. Open up, jerkwads, it's me!
Willy!
Come on, I know you're home.
I hear the TV.
It's not like you can go anywhere.
You're a couple of broke a-holes with no car.
Vinz, I can see the flame on your head.
- Damn. - Come on, open up!
Hey-o!
Man, I can't handle that clown, right now.
Um?
Shut the fuck up.
Your goddamned noise is pissing off my snake.
Oh man, now I have to let Willy in
or the Nazi's gonna kill him.
I mean, would that be the worst thing?
Well, took you long enough!
What are you doing in here,
smelling each other's balls or something?
Willy, please keep it down.
My head's gonna burst.
Seriously, what's with your neighbor?
It's a free country.
Our founding fathers died for my right to yell in hallways.
I mean, back me up, lino.
Am I right, or am I right?
Whatever, sure, man.
Just shut the fuck up, dude.
Huh?
This guy again?
Until they themselves know the terror they tried...
Terrorism, blah, blah, blah.
So where are these alleged terrorists, huh?
Playing poker with the tooth fairy
and my imaginary girlfriend?
Ha!
I mean, look at that guy right there.
Showing a face like that on tv, that's terrorism.
Ooh, what a sick burn!
Brr, mah, mah, mah, mah!
What the hell?
Did you not just see that?
Those savages ran off with my hot dog.
You're not gonna do anything?
You know those things carry a nut ton of diseases, right?
Uh, why are you here?
Oh, I don't know.
I missed you douchebags.
I wanted to go out, get some froyo or something.
Come on, let's get some air, 'cause honestly,
lino over here, he looks like a shit took a shit.
Everybody knows it's staged, Willy.
Diablo always wins.
I could put on tights, go in the ring
and do the same exact shit. What?
I'm serious.
Except you've got the bone structure of a little bitch.
Oh yeah?
Fuckin' hate the bus.
But I've read people been shot more walking,
so my ass takes the bus.
Don't get it twisted.
DMC's worse than it sounds.
And it will eat you alive.
Only question is when.
Me and vinz talked about escaping one day,
but we ain't foolin' nobody.
Got no car or money,
just the roaches and this motherfuckin' bus.
Nah, for real.
Like the rest of these poor fuckers,
no dreams, no hope, no future.
Ain't got a shadow of a prayer.
Lino, what'd you think?
Could vinz be a wrestler?
Hello, is vinz a bitch or not?
Huh?
Oh, uh, I guess.
I just, did you guys see the priest walkin' by
with the...
Uh, never mind.
Oh finally, I can breathe again.
So what do you guys think we should eat?
Don't forget, you jerks owe me a hot dog.
Did you know diablo can eat a whole bowl
of hot dogs in three minutes?
No, he can't.
- What do you... - He does!
I watched a behind-the-scenes
thing about it.
And again, I'm telling you, it's all theater.
- It's fuckin' fake. - Huh?
- What do you think, lino? - What the hell?
Ya got to take better care of yourself, man.
Let's go get some food.
Maybe vinz is right.
That truck must've fucked me up worse than I thought.
Probably cracked my skull,
and now my brain's gonna leak out all over my sneakers
or some bacteria-ass shit that makes you go crazy
and kills you two weeks later.
Bro, are you okay?
For real, man, you seem pretty out of it.
You wanna go home and chill?
I don't know.
I'm suddenly seeing all this trippy shit,
and it's freaking me out.
Like, look, that dude over there!
You don't see anything weird.
Look at him!
Remind me what I'm lookin' at.
You didn't see his shadow?
Look, with crazy tentacles and shit comin' out of his head?
Huh?
What?
I'm not crazy, dude!
Yeah, lino, sure you're not.
Fuck, what's wrong with me?
I think the sun's probably frying your brain.
It's too hot outside.
- Let's go. - Yeah, maybe.
Let's find a place to hang out and chill.
So pipo's then?
Oh, again?
But I want froyo.
The Mercury has hit another record high today
with daytime temperatures soaring well
above the seasonal norm for the third week in a row.
It's recommended that elderly viewers and children...
Wrong, it's those chem trails in the sky
that's making me so hot.
The government's ruining our climate
so that we buy more American-made cars and soda.
Fancy dinner where we what?
Yeah, buy more soda.
- Lino. - I'm tellin' ya, man.
The sugar and car lobbyists run our country.
Huh?
Damn, now see, I would let her lobby at me, all day.
She's looking at us.
Ooh, lino, she's checkin' you out, brother.
Senorita?
Yeah, uh, let's get out of here.
Lino, what are you doing?
Why we runnin'?
Wait up!
We didn't pay for the food.
Gracias, pero, this is too much.
It's cool!
Keep the change!
I don't know about you,
but I got that it is.
Then make sure you stay downwind from me.
Ugh, plus I get gas.
- It's genetic. - Genetics?
That, it's not genetic, Willy.
You're just disgusting.
Don't judge me, man.
Hey, guys.
I think someone's tailing us.
See that one over there pretending to talk
on the phone that don't work?
Huh?
Wait, where?
Yo, be more discreet, dumb-ass.
You mean wingtips?
Yeah, the three of them been following us
for a while now.
Now I feel stupid.
They weren't even after us, man.
What the hell is up with you today?
You've been acting crazy since this morning.
Still think I'm paranoid?
Uh, why don't we just ask them what they want?
Nah, man.
I'm not askin' those men in black motherfuckers nothin'.
What are we supposed to do, lino?
We go into ninja mode.
We turn the corner,
and as soon as we outta their sight, we out.
Ninja!
We've been made!
Don't let 'em get away!
What do they want?
I'm slowin' down!
Stop or I'll shoot!
Oh shit, he's got a gun.
He's got a gun, gun, gun, gun.
Wait! What?
Go, get the fuck out of here!
I've got you, bro!
Take this fuckin' brick, you!
Oh no, no, no.
I got you, lino.
We need to get out of here, right now.
Let's go!
Did, did you grab his gun, dude?
Why the fuck would I do that?
It's not GTA, let's go.
What do you think those dudes wanted from us, man?
To kill us, obviously!
The whole damn city's nuts.
What could they want?
Dude, did you see their clothes?
They're not from here, are they?
For real,
they weren't dressed like dealers, bro.
Looked like hitmen to me.
Hopefully, they're looking for someone else.
You mean, some other ugly, bug-eyed dude
and a guy with his head on fire?
Maybe they're CIA.
Yeah, right, they wanted to know where we were
when Kennedy got shot.
Ba-bang!
Too soon?
Whoa, a shooting star!
You see that?
No, where?
Uh, in the sky, where else, dumb-ass?
Fuck you, Willy.
I just didn't see it.
The sky's big.
Wah-huh, my head's on fire,
and the sky's too big! Fuckin' rude, why would you,
hey, I saw one that time.
Look there's another one.
Make a wish, make a wish, make a wish, right now.
Oh what did you wish for, lino?
Me?
I don't know.
I just wanna be a somebody.
That diablo sure knows how
to please a crowd!
Whoa, what's this?
10-four, in sight.
The hall, three on the roof.
Sun god slam!
The crowd is going...
Neutralize suspect.
What the fuck's wrong with this janky ass...
It's picking up the whole city.
Hold on, stop, stop, stop.
Do you hear that?
Wait, wait, stop that, stop that.
Is that police chatter?
Operation blackball is a go.
Move, move, move!
What the hell is operation blackball?
Huh?
For the last fucking time, if you don't...
Contact in 10 seconds.
I don't know what's going on outside,
but whatever it is, it's kinda weird.
What the fuck?
Contact.
Vinz, man, what, what the fuck are you doing?
Get your ass over here
and help, ah!
Status?
What's your status?
Report.
Huh?
This is my shithole!
Get the fuck out!
Did you just kill a cop?
Oh, oh, they're gonna kill us.
They're gonna kill us.
Not yet.
Grenade, grenade, move!
Lino, come on.
Come on, we have to go.
Yo, this way, dumb-ass!
How is he doing that?
Psst, hey, lino, down here, hurry.
Whoa, man, I'm not saying this 'cause we're in the sewer,
but I think you might be a ninja turtle, lino.
Shit.
You gonna tell me you killed 'em?
Two idiot kids took out an entire elite squad.
The abomination did this.
I knew that little bastard's power wouldn't stay dormant.
And you assholes let him get away.
The kid's a ticking time bomb
that needs to be extinguished before it explodes.
Getting harder to work
with El diablo in the ring.
He keeps going off-book.
Guy has like no boundaries.
Oh come on, what?
You gonna cry about it?
He's El, freakin', diablo.
He may bust our balls,
but he's giving the crowd what they want.
Look, see?
Tell me that's not a sign.
Hmm, looks kind of like a cockroach.
Again with your damn signs.
Bullshit.
Now it's a roach on your towel.
Last week, you saw the virgin Guadalupe in your rearview
and then some stupid face on fire.
A flaming skull on my bit, in Aguascalientes.
Because the universe always writes
its most important messages on sandwiches?
I think you're just seeing what you want to see,
reading into things too much.
I'm just saying, stop looking for meaning
where there isn't any.
You're gonna drive yourself totally nuts with that shit.
You just can't accept the fact that we're guardians,
and as guardians, it's our job to stay vigilant
for whatever the universe throws our way.
We...
He's right.
It was only by deciphering signs and omens that the ancients
before us could fulfill their true destinies.
Every generation of guardians exist
to fight a specific battle.
Don't worry, we'll get tagged in,
and then our purpose will be revealed to us.
- Hell yeah! - Huh?
Yeah, but, like a cockroach?
Can the universe be clearer?
Our job is to be patient and lie in wait.
And when the world finally needs us,
we'll know it.
The lucha ultima fighters are descended
from the eagle and Jaguar tribes,
the most elite warriors of the Aztec empire,
masters of the mistica,
the art of unraveling the mysteries of destiny.
Generations of guardians have waged wars in the shadows,
keeping us safe from evil since time immemorial.
But today's luchadors have no such battles.
Yet they stay in shape with intense training,
donning tights and fighting each other
in spectacular choreographed shows to pay the rent
and stave off existential boredom.
Stop being difficult.
Mama.
We'll find him either way.
So where is he?
Holy Mary, mother of god, please protect my precious boy
- and protect... - I assure you
we'll find him. Help them find each other.
Keep them all safe.
This is your last chance.
Where is he?
I only have one request.
Please don't shoot me in the head.
She knew what she was doing.
The bitch was playin' us.
The kid's long gone by now.
My last quarter.
This shit better not go straight to voicemail,
or we fucked, man.
Oh not now.
My ass is gonna explode.
What?
Hey, Willy, is that you?
Oh hey, my dude, how's life on the run?
You need to find us another spot, man.
We can't hide out here.
We cannot be talking about this on my home line.
The phones are probably tapped.
That's called surveillance, dumb-ass.
I know, I know,
but this place is way too hood, man.
Like, I'm cool, but vinz is...
Oh my apologies, Caesar's freakin' palace was
all full up!
- What the fuck? - Oh hey,
why don't I just call my buddy
at the Ritz for ya? What's with the beeping?
Stop pushing' buttons, dude. Oh I wonder if I could
Google hotels that cater specifically to cop-killers!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we fucked up,
and we totally owe you one,
but can you just hook us up one last time, like a plan B
or like a relative we could stay with or something?
What am I, your travel agent?
That's all I got, guys.
And you two better not come back here because the CIA,
and also I'm dealing with an emergency situation right now.
Willy, we not playin' around, man.
We in some real deep shit right...
What?
He hung up on me.
Oh I see how it is.
Fine, guys, be that way.
This is palm hills.
You better quit that shit around here.
This is our turf.
Think you can wear that shit around me?
I don't think we should stay here, lino.
Look how much we stand out, and I'm half-naked.
Sorry, I know you like that shirt.
But we couldn't risk them seeing you in green.
Yeah, I know.
Hey, but look on the bright side,
cops ain't gonna find us here,
'cause they won't set foot in this part of town.
Even they not that crazy.
That makes me feels so much better
about our situation.
Just gotta keep our heads down,
don't disrespect nobody.
Just keep walkin' and hope we don't die.
Same ground rules as back home, right?
Yo, what's good, cuz?
This ain't no place for no little motherfuckers like you.
And give thy thoughts no tongue
nor any other unproportioned thought his act.
That's Shakespeare. Yeah, that's right.
Oh, see, this guy Willy's our friend, and um,
well, it's kinda complicated, but, but I,
I, 1, mean, we, we, we come from, um, dark meat city,
and me and my boy vinz here, we need a little break,
you know, like a little vacation.
So Willy hooked us up with a place to chill for a bit, and...
- Oh shit! - Fuck!
Oh shit, go, come on!
Come on, vinz, we got to move.
Well, it's a shithole,
but at least we got a place to lay low.
That's what matters.
Just a place to chill till this shit blows over.
What?
Why are the crows even aggressive?
It's weird without my roaches.
I read that lost cats can travel like hundreds of miles
to find their owner.
I wish my roaches could do that.
If we're lucky, maybe we'll get shot before we starve.
So there's that.
I was thinkin' just maybe we can go to the cops.
Tell 'em what happened, they'll let us go.
Oh shit, you're right, bruh.
Yeah, too bad you didn't say nothin' to the cops
that was in our apartment tryin' to kill us, yesterday.
Oh.
What was that?
Did the box come with a prize?
Man, we even got power?
Are very dangerous.
These two criminals are wanted for first degree murder,
violence against the police,
resisting arrest and conspiring against the United States
- government. - Huh, what, what?
Is that us?
If you encounter these individuals,
please do not approach or engage them in any way
for your safety.
- I repeat... - Jesus!
What the fuck is goin' on, man?
Still feeling the whole turn yourself in idea?
Turn it up, wait, wait, turn, turn, shh, shh, shh,
just listen, turn it up.
At 666-3333.
Ah, no, no, no, no, no, yesterday,
I was just a normal fuckin' dude minding my business,
and today, I'm a goddamned terrorist?
Eh, if you look at the bright side,
least we don't have to worry
about someone calling the police on us, here.
- Huh? - Huh?
No fuckin' around this time.
You three with me.
The rest of you,
watch the front. Hey, hey, hey!
Check out the suits.
Y'all bitches lost or somethin'?
Hey, big boy, put your dog on his leash,
or I'll put him down.
- The fuck you just say? - You want us
to handle him, boss?
Who you gonna put down, now?
Damn, looks like you need a new suit, bitch.
Oh shit, they shot peach.
- Shit. - Hey, everyone, up here!
Huh?
Come on!
Cover me!
The sooner we take them out, the sooner we get the kids.
- Stop sleepin', man. - What the fuck's going
- on out there? - Get the fuck up!
Come on!
I want those two found now!
Vinz, damn, they found us.
No, dude, come on, move!
They're makin' a run for it,
through the backyard!
What are you waiting for?
Get to your cars.
All the world's a stage,
and all the men and women merely players, action.
'Tis now the very witching time of night,
when churchyards yawn
and hell itself breathes out contagion to this world.
Fuck this, fuck this!
Get those bitches!
You ain't gettin' away, motherfucker!
Get this shit, eat that!
Yeah! Now could I drink hot blood
and do such bitter business as the...
What the fuck?
This bootleg motherfucker.
To be or not to be, that's the question.
I can quote Shakespeare, too, bitch.
They got Shakespeare.
Drive.
Y'all fuckin' suits should've stayed
where you was from.
This is palm hill.
Hey, you heard me, homie?
- The fuck? - Oh, uh-uh!
- Hey, hey, hey! - Oh shit!
- What the fuck was that? - Careful, hey, careful!
Oh what in the actual fuck is that?
Yo, yo, what is this, man?
- What is that? - 1 don't know what that is.
- Get that shit, get that! - Fuck you!
Huh?
It's, it's that shadow.
What the fuck is that thing, lino?
Huh?
Wait, lino, stop, stop, stop. Huh?
This one has keys.
Lino, we're not fucking selling ice cream, bro, just go!
Lino, pop the clutch and go forward.
What are you doing, man?
Just drive, drive the car.
Well, I'm sorry!
I ain't never driven no ice cream truck before.
Shit, come on, come on, come on!
There you are, fuckers!
They found us.
We got to fucking go.
Fuck!
What the fuck is going on?
Where are those horrible, tentacled creatures from?
The movies have never been this insane!
And how does vinz stay alive with his head on fire?
Wait, did I just say that?
Try hittin' 'em.
Just shut up and drive.
Vinz, we got to try and slow 'em down.
But how?
I don't know, do something, anything!
Get me a good angle.
Wipe that shit off.
Huh?
Oh shit!
I'll kill these bastards myself.
Shit!
How we doing?
We lost them yet?
No, they're still on us.
Hey, here, take this.
See if it's loaded.
Shoot out there, not in here!
Huh, what did you say?
Shoot out there, not in here!
What the...
Uh, lino?
It looks like the cops have joined the party.
Lino, red light, red light!
Grab on to something!
Oh!
I'll fuckin' kill you!
Huh?
Shit, shit, shit!
See that?
I told you we'd lose 'em.
About that, lino,
they're still here.
Oh no fucking way.
Man, get off my dick!
Vinz, I'm gonna need you to sit your ass down
and buckle the fuck up.
Why?
What, what are you doing?
What I'm doing is fuckin' handlin' it!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Alive, we're alive.
They couldn't have gotten very far.
I want you to set up a perimeter.
Start where they were spotted last.
Get every man on the job and tighten the net.
The kid is special.
If he can actually tell machos from humans,
then we're in a world of shit.
Promised your mom I'd find you, kid,
and I'm a man of my word.
In other news, the neighborhood
of palm hill became a veritable war zone, this afternoon.
What incited the violence is, as of yet, unknown.
Long-time rival gangs the grapz
and the limz have joined forces
against the police units called in to manage...
And the violence only appears to be...
To nearby neighborhoods.
Thank you, Sarah.
Have there been any reported casualties?
Sources suggest at least 10 killed
and over 50 seriously injured.
Residents are advised to stay indoors until further notice.
Please stay safe out there, Sarah.
We'll keep bringing you the latest updates
as we get more information
about the devastating riots playing out
on the south side of DMC
and in a shocking new development taking place
on the other side of town,
our phone lines have apparently been flooded
with eyewitness reports that a huge colony
of insects has been seen leaving the city and heading in
the direction of the desert. Holy shit.
You were right. We don't yet understand
the cause of this mass migration,
but in this journalist's opinion,
if even the cockroaches are fleeing DMC,
what hope remains for the rest of us?
Man, I really hope pipo remembers
that huge tip I left him.
I don't know about this one, lino.
How long has it been since we ate something?
Is pipo even here right now?
I am hungry.
It's her.
Wait, lino, no, no, don't go in, don't go in.
Trust me on this.
So that's how we got mixed up in all this.
I know it sounds crazy, but...
I believe you.
I mean, seriously, and no offense,
but you two don't really look
like intimidating criminal masterminds.
Seriously, there's no way you two can run forever.
I bet there are tons of ways to prove you're innocent.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's tons
of ways they can frame us, too.
Here, you guys look like you need this more
than I do.
Am I the only one's that creeped out
by the fact that pipo's not back?
Huh?
Get, get, get off me!
Like moths drawn to the flame.
You did well, Luna, for once.
See, boys?
Follow your brains instead of your dick.
Hmm?
I remember the first time I saw them.
I was scared, too,
until I realized they're not the freaks of nature.
We are.
I
Mama.
Papa.
Nice to finally make your acquaintance...
Angelino.
Who are you?
What do you want from us?
And where's vinz?
Inquisitive young man.
The real question is, who are you?
You, angelino, are a being unlike any other in this world.
I imagine you've always known that, deep down.
But where are my manners?
You may call me Mr. K.
I am of a race known as the machos,
spawned from the dark matter of the universe.
You felt that delicious surge of rage
and blood lust course through you,
that uncontrollable desire for destruction.
I know what you're thinking, little one.
Your father was just as stubborn.
You see, he was one of us.
He had so much potential,
that is, until the day he fell in love
and broke our most fundamental law,
never breed with a human.
Macho blood flows through you, angelino.
Your father did you a disservice entrusting you
to the humans.
You've never been one of them, and you know it.
You belong to the master race,
yet you live a wretched existence
in a wretched city surrounded by wretched people
who despise you for being different.
Your so-called friends are only companions in this misery,
failures keeping you from reaching your true potential.
But now, it's time to spread your wings and fly.
Come be with your own kind, angelino.
Upon returning to your cell, you will kill your friend,
extinguish the pathetic existence you've been living
since the day your wretched mother birthed you.
So your life can finally start.
Kill him and take your rightful place.
Abandon your humanity
and become who you were always meant to be.
Trust me, my dear boy, we are offering you a true family.
What, kill vinz?
He's almost ready.
You may now send in Luna.
Kill vinz?
I have to.
Angelino.
You must be so confused right now,
and I'm so, so sorry.
Embrace your true nature.
I've been where you are, too.
You need to accept who you really are.
Please, angelino, this is your destiny.
You and I can do great things together.
I must kill vinz.
No point fighting it.
The battle has been won.
DMC was just phase one.
We've already begun infiltrating the economic
and financial strata of every city in the nation.
We are in your police force, on wall street,
in your white house.
Our presence in congress allowed us to push through laws
which let us spread our agenda unhindered
throughout the globe.
Cruelty, greed, corruption, hate,
the earth is our playground.
We machos sustain ourselves off the bounty
of negative energy that seeps like magma
from mankind's every pore.
And believe me, when it comes to negative energy,
this planet's resources are truly inexhaustible.
Stay here, angelino.
Mommy will be right back for you.
Lino?
I just wanna be a somebody.
Mommy's here, sweetie.
Mommy will always be here for you.
Must kill vinz.
It's all right.
He's just in shock.
Release him.
Take him to the cell where his skeleton friend is waiting.
Let him make his own choice.
For the first time in his miserable existence,
young angelino will be the master of his own fate.
And if his pathetic friend is still alive in the morning,
kill them both.
But sir, with all due respect,
why even give him a chance?
The kid is a threat.
If he's really that powerful,
why not just eliminate him now?
And that, my dear macchabee,
is the key difference between our two species.
About massacring your fellow man,
machos consider our brothers and sisters lives
to be sacred, for we share a common ideal.
But I don't expect a human to grasp such a concept.
You're dismissed.
Yes, sir.
Ensure that you do not question
my authority again, Mr. Macchabee.
Father?
You always told me there was no way I could survive
outside the base,
that I was the only hybrid,
and humans would never accept me.
So how is he able to live...
And look at his life!
Is that the kind of miserable existence you want?
I don't have time for this, Luna.
There are more important matters to attend to.
Make yourself useful elsewhere.
I will not hear another word of it.
Are we seriously relying on the swarm
of cockroaches for directions?
We should turn around.
This whole thing is fucking nuts.
Lino, dude, I didn't know where they took you.
I was freaking out.
I thought probably they killed you or something,
but, I'm really glad you're here.
Whoa, whoa, shit, man, are you, you all right?
We're leaving.
We must part from here.
What are you talking about, man?
Man, have you seen where we are?
We're in like a bunker with guards and cameras and shit.
It makes Guantanamo look like a girl scout retreat.
Whoever put us here doesn't want us to ever get out, man.
They ran all kinds of tests on me, lino.
Tests, electrodes everywhere,
I mean, my head, my body.
The put it on my junk, man, my junk!
Shit's on you, bro.
We finally lost those assholes,
and you had to go trust some bitch
at pipo's you barely knew.
I told you something wasn't right about her.
You had to think with your dick.
I hope it was fuckin' worth it.
Well, congratulations.
Look where your little crush got us.
For real, you need to shut the fuck up, vinz.
Man, I don't feel good.
It's happening!
Uh, lino?
I can't control it.
Stay back!
Lino, you're starting to freak me out, man.
I said get the fuck away from me!
Lino, you're hurting me, cut it out!
There is no lino.
Lino is gone!
Lino!
I am not what you think I am.
The pathetic being you called lino was an illusion.
And your only purpose has been to hold me back.
Wretched creature, now do you see who I am?
You're my friend.
Friend?
Looks like that old bald dude was right.
I really am just a fuckin' monster.
Holy shit, man.
What'd those assholes do to you in there?
I'm so sorry, vinz.
I don't understand.
There's this, there's this thing inside of me
that's just...
Quiet down in there!
Or I'll put my boot up your ass, I swear to god!
You fuckin' scumbags.
That's it, no dinner for you shits tonight!
Good, very good.
Sir, we have a security breach reported
at checkpoint four-c.
A security breach?
How's that possible?
Huh?
Okay, boys, you survey the perimeter.
I'll check the lab.
These science nerds and old farts won't give me any trouble.
Yeah, try not to fall asleep, tough guy.
Fuckin' Doug, he's not even funny.
We make our escape now or never!
You ignorant sheep.
You can stay on the ceiling if you like.
- Vinz. - You're getting real close
- to me, dude. - Vinz!
Huh?
Yo, I think I'm losin' it, man.
Vinz!
Who the fuck are they shooting at?
Hey, I think we, are you okay?
Stay with us, bro.
Lino, hold on, hold on!
Shit, we're lost!
There's an exit here!
Hey, stay with me, lino.
Lino, please don't fall asleep.
Don't fall asleep.
Daddy, daddy, is that you?
You're mother didn't abandon you, son.
She hid you from them.
Sacrificed her life to save yours.
Your mother loved you with all her heart.
I did everything in my power
to protect the two of you,
to keep you safe.
They were too strong for me.
Daddy?
Become who you truly are, my son.
The machos are malevolent beings,
nasty creatures who made a pact with power hungry humans.
But they never truly trusted them,
not enough to breed with, anyway.
So they created their own hybrids in a lab,
hybrids that feel neither fear nor pain
and are unburdened by conscience,
the perfect fusion of the two species.
But this little fella's different.
He's the organic flawed fruit of a forbidden love.
As you can see,
offspring from such a union inherit traits at random.
Their potential is limitless.
Yeah, yeah, doc,
so how do we kill these machos?
Like all creatures
from the pits of hell, they abhor the cold.
It's no coincidence that for decades,
politicians have been working surreptitiously
to bring about an era of global warming,
emitting greenhouse gases, massive deforestation,
subsidizing fossil fuels.
You get the idea.
It takes time, this terraforming.
By pushing us towards extinction,
they've tipped earth's balance to their favor.
And why wouldn't they?
When their years of well-laid plans
could be irrevocably compromised
by some pesky winter snowstorm.
Lino!
You've been knocked out for like three days, man.
I wasn't gonna slip you the tongue or anything, you know.
I don't do that.
I'm, I'm a gentleman.
Vinz, where the hell are we?
- Time for a smoke break. - Whatever!
Just don't do that shit too close to me.
I don't want anything to blow up.
Always smoke break this, pee break that!
I need you gentlemen to hunker down and focus.
We have a world to save!
There's no way we're gonna finish this in time.
My word, you lot are worse
than a bunch of whiny teenagers.
Stick to the plan and no more godforsaken breaks.
My name is feliz, and I have gas
uh, you in here, skeleton man?
Hey, the kids went awol!
We didn't belong there, man.
Look at us, we can't even save ourselves.
How we gonna save the world?
When you come to my show, you're going to a war.
And I'm all for violence, chaos.
Anyone who wants
to disappear goes to Mexico, right?
I don't know.
It just doesn't feel right, you know,
skipping town like this.
I mean, what we even gonna do down there?
We've got no marketable skills.
Yeah, we'll figure it out, man, somehow.
Whatever, I'm just glad Willy won't be there.
Oh shit, I forgot about Willy.
Poor little dude probably thinks we dead.
I mean, we were kind of his only family, right?
I still got a dollar left.
The phone's right there if you want to hit him up.
Ah, that must be them.
You go off script, I'll blow your fuckin' head off.
Hey, it's ringin...
Uh, greetings.
Yo, dude, it's us.
What's good, man? Funny you should ask.
I'm kinda in a situation right now.
Hey, I thought I told you not
to pull anything funny, you little piece of shit.
Hello, hello, Willy, Willy!
What the, what's up with this piece of shit phone?
Hello?
Oh good, I hear you now.
Me and vinz got some real shit to fill you in on, bro.
What a coincidence, so do I.
Capital info, back home now,
life or death questions?
Did I say it right?
What the fuck are you talkin' about, dude?
Hey, is somewhere there? Oh man.
Just come back.
It's a super big emergency.
I can't talk about it.
What?
Willy, man, I can't understand you, dude.
Hey, are you on somethin', bro?
For real, you're not making any sense.
Capital info, what?
1 don't know what to say.
Uh-uh.
I can't tell you over the phone.
Just get your asses here now.
What, hello, Willy?
What's up?
What'd he say?
Yeah, he said he needs
to tell us some important shit.
Then that motherfucker hung up on me.
Was actin' real weird the whole time, man.
So?
He's always weird.
I don't know, man.
Something sounded off.
I think we've got to go back.
Back to DMC, are you crazy, man?
Yeah, you're right.
- It's too risky. - Damn straight,
it's too risky.
Willy's a survivor.
He don't need us.
But if he's really in danger,
we can't just leave our boy hangin' like that.
Fuck, Willy!
How long we gonna keep lettin'
this douchebag fuck our lives up?
He's your boy, lino, not mine.
It's not my job to handle his shit.
We have to fuckin' do is get out of here,
away from the DMC, away from the tentacle mafia
and from motherfuckin' Willy!
He's nothin' but fuckin' trouble, man.
Don't just look at me.
Let's go save him.
Hang tight, Willy.
As DMC police try
to quell the violent riots plaguing the city,
president Gore Tex made an official statement
declaring the riots...
Hey, hey, check these two out.
Huh?
Sit tight, cat boy.
This better be your friends,
or you'll be in a world of hurt.
Your performance on the phone was shit.
Let's hope they bought it.
If not, I might get creative and shove some fireworks up
that furry little ass of yours.
'Cause hey,
I'm feelin' festive!
Little secret, even as a kid,
I loved torturing the animals.
So part of me hopes your friends don't show up.
Oh for fuck's sake.
I'm sweatin' my fuckin' balls off in here.
It's hotter than Satan's anus in this piece of shit trailer.
Don't you have a fan in here?
Jesus Christ.
It can't be.
No fuckin' way, they actually came back.
Those fuckwits are unbelievable.
Oh this is too perfect.
Your boyfriends are here to rescue you.
Hold it, now say cheese.
Come on, out of the way, asshole.
Don't move.
No, no, no, no, stay right there.
Hey, these are the dudes that are wanted!
There you are.
Son of a bitch.
Come on, show me your eyes.
Good night.
No!
Did anyone see that?
Let's get this motherfucker, man, get him!
Fuck you, fuck you! Where'd it come from?
Oh shit!
Shit!
Those shots came from Willy's.
Oh man.
Willy.
Let's go!
What you're witnessing
is a channel 7 world's ahead exclusive.
A shootout has just erupted in the southland neighborhood,
which had until now escaped involvement
in the surrounding riots.
Wait, hold on, I can see a man climbing
onto the roof of a trailer.
Is it another terrorist?
No, uh, he looks like a lone wolf gunman.
Oh, you want a fuckin' war?
Then you'll get one!
Say hello to my little friend.
- Man, we gotta save Willy. - Huh?
Are you crazy?
That's suicide.
But if I don't try,
I won't be able to live with myself.
Know what I'm saying?
Like, I may be a loser,
but I'm not a fucking coward. What?
Wait, lino, wait!
Fucking Willy.
Huh?
Get the fuck out of here,.
Wrong way!
Run, you little punk!
I got him!
What took you douchebags so long?
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are now witnessing an extraordinary sight,
an unidentified flying object.
Trajectory indicates that it originated
from the desert east of DMC.
We still don't know what it is or why...
It's out of our hands now.
The UFO just exploded.
This must be the work of a...
- Hey! - Huh?
- Hey, look out! - What's going on?
- Idiot! - Hey, come on, fast!
Lino?
Lino!
Uh, doc, this wasn't part of the plan.
Wait for the temperature to drop.
You'll see.
Lino!
Holy shit, you're all right.
What the hell was that in the sky?
You think it was the luchadors' rocket?
I don't know.
Why's it so cold?
Yo, it's snowing in the DMC.
That's sick.
Shit, lino!
1, 1 can't, I can't move.
I'm freezin' up inside.
I'm scared, vinz.
No, lino, you're turnin'
into a Popsicle.
Hey, you're not allowed to die on us, okay?
I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I think it's in front of me.
Then make a fuckin' u-turn.
Don't go into the light.
Huh?
You got a lot of nerve showing your face around here
after what you did.
Man, leave us the fuck alone.
You've been nothing but trouble since we met you.
Lino, please don't fall for this shit again.
Oh shit, lino.
My heart, it's warming up.
You did the same for me.
Thank you for showing me there's another way, angelino.
I believed no one would accept me,
that they'd hate me, so I hated them first.
But feeding on hatred leaves such a bitter taste.
I'm quickly learning I much prefer the sweetness
of a stolen kiss.
Uh, uh, guys!
Why are you so desperate to be like them?
Hey, you fuckin'.
They made me lose my train of thought.
Where were we?
This has never happened to me.
Get the fuck away from her!
Hah!
Fight, angelino, do something!
Free your inner tentacle monster, dude.
You have to.
I'd rather die.
Well, you're about to if you don't get up.
Transform, dude!
Oh shit, he's gonna kill him.
Abandon your humanity
and become who you were always meant to be.
Become who you truly are, my son.
No beast.
Today, it's gonna be you and me.
What are you doing, man?
You've got tentacles, use them!
Hell, no.
I'm never lettin' that monster control me ever again.
Sort that shit out in therapy, man.
You need to hulk out, or you're dead.
Fine, I got this.
I'ma bust a cap in your ass, dude, 'cause I'm...
You're not gonna know what hit you.
I'm fine, I got this.
Looks like you guys got this.
See you back at pipo's.
Such power at your disposal
and you did nothing with it.
Because you're a goddamn coward.
And that's why you ended up on the wrong side of a gun.
Thus bad begins
and worse remains behind.
Hamlet, act three, scene four.
Eve for an eye, motherfucker.
He who lives by the sword,
dies by the sword!
- Hell, yeah! - Dude, that's what
- I'm talkin' about. - Yeah!
Luna.
- Nobody better! - Long-time comin'!
This motherfucker ain't doin' it.
Now, do this!
- Luna. - Hmm?
My heart, it's getting cold again.
So, doc, you think we got rid of them,
I mean, for good?
And no one will ever know it was us
who saved them.
And we must keep it that way.
It's been over two months
since it all went down.
The snow's finally starting to melt.
The city's slowly gettin' its old groove back.
The news stopped talking about the UFO, the snow, all of it.
They said it was Eco-terrorism,
that a satellite crashed into the stratosphere.
And now, nothing.
None of it happened.
Life picked up exactly where it left off, well, almost.
When your old president freezes to death,
you elect a new one.
I don't know if they're actually gonna be able
to change anything in this fucked-up country,
but I think there's reason to hope.
Still haven't heard from Willy,
except on the music channels.
He's going through a mystical phase.
Just dropped his first single.
Hmm, it's all right.
Livin' here in outer space
> got no oxygen mask
> yeah, I'm the one multiplying the oxygen >
his Karma's probably fucked.
But as long as he's multiplying the oxygen,
then he's good, I guess.
Sooner or later, he'll come crawling back to us.
You'll see.
Nobody can stand Willy for more than a month.
Me and vinz, our asses are back at Rios rosas.
It's nasty as ever, but hey, it's home.
Plus, we found a new TV.
So everything's cool. Watch as they face off
in a traditional two-on-two matchup.
Oh, kick to the plexus.
And a hammer smash!
Oh, I almost forgot.
My roaches are back, too,
but without any luchadors.
He falls on his back.
What's tiger doing?
This does not look good!
And what the...
Vinz finally got hired someplace.
You ready for this?
At pipo's, where you and me first met.
Yo, I'm home!
What's good, man?
Eh, you know, just writin' love letters
to a girl with no address.
Yeah, she wasn't at pipo's today, either, man.
Sorry.
Well, maybe tomorrow.
Maybe.
I still think about you,
all the damn time,
where you are,
what you're doing.
And you?
You ever think about me,
from time to time?
This has been angelino, coming to you live
from Rios rosas, DMC, new California,
in the United States of America
on planet earth, which is located in...
You know what?
I got no fuckin' idea what's out there after that.
Thanks, Luna.
For everything.
Oh, okay.